Each January, I, like I’m sure many of you do, beat myself up and start my year trying to pave the way for a “new me”.
Whether it’s restricting my calories, setting myself excessive exercise goals or just generally setting myself an unrealistic, strict to-do list for the year to come, it’s no wonder most of us barely get through January before we break our “New Year’s Resolutions”.
After a very long journey of trying to accept myself, the last few weeks of December 2019 are when things really sank in for me and I finally sat myself down and had a damn good think about what I really want for the year to come.
I don’t want to create a new me, I want to rediscover the true me.
After allowing the opinions of others to manifest into a horrible opinion of myself, I’ve decided that throughout 2020 I will learn to love the things that make me, me.
Below I will be talking about different aspects of this and myself, which hopefully will help you to realise what makes you, you, and hopefully inspire you to ditch the “new you” in favour of rediscovering the “true you”.
I’ve spent most of my life (teenage/adult) hating the way I look and scrutinising every part of myself every day.
Again I listened to the poisonous words of cruel people and allowed them to forge my own opinion on myself.
2020 I aim to learn to love myself whilst taking care of myself in a healthy way; no ridiculous diets, no excessive exercise, just being kind to myself and most importantly, enjoying life.
I’m a huge lover of games, I have been ever since I was a little girl playing computer games with my family.
However, I’ve spent a lot of my adult years hiding it from most people for fear of being judged.
This has actually affected my happiness and has also caused me to change my art style to make other people happy.
In 2020 I aim to fully embrace my love of gaming; drawing more game-inspired designs, playing more computer games and collecting the game-inspired merch I’ve always wanted.
Following the previous paragraph, I’ve always wanted to focus more on gaming-inspired designs but strayed away from them to make others happy.
This led to me becoming more and more unhappy over the years and left me feeling quite disconnected from my art.
This year I’m definitely going to be creating pieces based on my favourite games; Final Fantasy X, Spyro the Dragon, Crash Bandicoot, Tomb Raider, Jak and Daxter, Ratchet and Clank, Horizon: Zero Dawn and Skyrim.
I barely ever listen to music, I’m really not sure why either.
A couple of months ago I decided to download Spotify and listen to the songs I always used to listen to in college and university.
I’ve been hooked on Spotify ever since.
I had forgotten how beautiful music is and how much it truly effects you and I look forward to seeing how it can inspire me throughout the coming year.
I would also like to go to more gigs, (in my first year of university when I received a nice sum of bursary money, I spent it on going to 22 gigs in 1 year.. oops!), as the feeling of seeing a band that you’ve listened to for years is so magical and I can’t wait to feel that again.
I’ve always loved photography and really wanted to study it at university, but sadly I didn’t get into the university I wanted.
Ever since I ended up studying visual arts instead, I have slowly lost touch with my love of photography, only doing it rarely via my phone.
In 2020 I aim to get back into doing what I love and really exploring with my own style, discovering new places as I adventure.
Blogging is something I really love, writing down my thoughts, sharing them with you all and creating a conversation.
I want to write on my blog often, focusing on mental health, travel and art.
I want to create an online “sketchbook” that not only shows you my artwork but how I came to use each pattern within the art piece.
I truly hope you all like what I have planned.
NO PEER PRESSURE
In 2020 I aim to no longer let people pressure me to do things I don’t want; I want to stay true to myself and my values and only do things that make me happy or are a positive influence to me.
I say “yes” too often as I hate telling people “no”, yet this usually puts me in a position where I am unhappy and it can really affect my mental health.
I’ve only just started to get a grip of my mental health and I’d really like to be able to reach the end of 2020 and say that I had a great “mental health year”.
In 2019 I told myself I’d like to go through the whole year without having any alcohol (I didn’t have an issue with it, it was more to see how I could handle a year-long goal), and I am happy to say I succeeded!
I need to reconnect with the power of spirituality and meditation, it’s so easy to go through life and get caught up in the flurry of a full-time job mixed with lots of other responsibilities.
I need to remember to give myself some time to really just focus within and reconnect with myself, to give myself a moment of calm and relaxation so I can recalibrate and refocus.
So all in all, I aim to really reconnect with myself in 2020, to challenge myself and remind myself that I am capable of doing amazing things.
I want to achieve as much as possible; artistically, physically and mentally.
I want to reach the end of 2020 and be able to say, “I’m proud of myself.”
I truly hope that you find inspiration through this blog post to not start 2020 by punishing yourself with unreasonable goals, but instead make 2020 the year that you learn to love yourself too.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog post.
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